Review - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I didn't quite know what to expect from Donald Miller's brand new book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." I read 'Blue Like Jazz', perhaps too quickly, and thought it interesting but not altogether helpful or compelling. But with the buzz surrounding his new book, I was glad to get an advance review copy from Thomas Nelson Publishers. The book far exceeded my expectations...

The subtitle itself tells a tale - "What I Learned While Editing My Life." Miller's new book actually is a story about becoming the editor for a screen adaptation of his previous book "Blue Like Jazz", which itself was a mixture of autobiography and philosophy. Essentially then, Miller gets the chance to "edit" his own life's story! In doing so he explores some fascinating ideas on what it means for your life to be a story, what makes for a good life story, and the relationship between a character in a story and the author (or in this case, Author).

Donald Miller's writing is very engaging; it really was difficult to put the book down. There was a compelling interplay between what was going on in his own mind, the travails of the main character's pseudo-life, and what it means for you the reader to be writing your own life story. It's rare for a story to be this effective in quietly encouraging the reader to examine his own life and where it's going. The phrase "the character is what he does" really struck me, as I'm a man too often caught up in reflection instead of action. The former if it does not lead to the latter, is of little value.

A key theme running throughout the book is that "at the heart of a good story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." Without the struggle, without the conflict, the story simply isn't worth telling. When I finished reading the book I was somewhat disappointed that there was not really any discussion about what constitutes a worthy goal for the character to pursue. If a person or a character wants something that is a selfish adventure or doesn't touch the lives of others, what kind of story is that? I felt that same unease I had while reading Blue Like Jazz - is it enough to point out problems without directing toward a solution? Ultimately, while that's an important question it's not the one Miller is looking to address in this book, so I won't hold it against him; I give it a full five-stars. My advice: Treat the book as a mirror, not a compass. Fans of Miller will love this book; those who've never heard of him or who had reservations about "Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality" should still check it out. The potentially best thing about Miller's book is that it might offer you a second chance at life, the first time around.

You can read an excerpt from "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life", or you can find it at Amazon or other retailers.

Connecting with People Requires Energy

John Maxwell is getting interactive with his upcoming book "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect." He has been posting a chapter of the book in progress each week, getting feedback from readers. This week he shared an exceptionally strong chapter entitled 'Connecting Always Requires Energy .'

So far in the book he has talked about the importance of the need to connect with people to be an effective leader and communicator, how connecting is really all about the needs of others, and that communications go far beyond words. Because this is a work in progress for Maxwell, and because the posts are only available for a week, I can't provide any quotes from the post. But his emphasis on Chapter 4 this week is that no matter what your personality type, no matter if you consider yourself a people-person or not, connecting with others is something you can do, though it takes energy. This energy must be focused and strategic, so John shares several excellent tips for doing this. What I found exciting was that the ideas and encouragement on how to be a better communicator and connect with others are useful even for those of us who consider ourselves introverts. Check out Maxwell's chapter online, and be sure to do it this week!

What is Wrong with being a Leader?

I've been reading a lot in the past few years on leadership, trying to understand how to better encourage and equip others to make a difference with their lives. While everyone knows there are good leaders and bad leaders, I've never heard anyone question the value of being a leader, or trying to develop leaders... until this month.

In thinking about leadership development, I've had discussions (face to face and online) in which others I respect question the idea of leadership development. Others are uncomfortable with the very word 'leader', refusing to be called a leader, or considering it reflective of a dangerous mindset - a leader being someone who (sees themself as) 'above' others. These folks are bright, younger, and have a great desire to help others, so I'm left scratching my head wondering "What is wrong with being a leader?" What's the stigma? Is it semantics? A generational thing? Distrust of 'old school' authoritarian _styles_ of leadership? Or am I missing something important?

I have a feeling that much of the discomfort with 'being' a leader is a having a mental picture of a leader as someone in a role or position, telling other people what to do, without their best interests at heart. In this view, leaderhip = power. The 'effectiveness' is a leader is the ability to make people do what they don't want to do. Their style of leadership is probably the one more prevalent in days past: authoritarian, directive. The leader is the boss, the person in charge, and they tell others what to do, and their goal usually includes moving 'the organization' forward. If that's what people think of as a leader, and if leadership development is training people to be like this to meet corporate goals, then I'm with them - I sure don't want to be _that_ kind of leader!

When I think of the term leader, I think of someone who cares about other people, and influences them towards some towards the achievement of a worthy common goal. The authority of a good leader comes not from their position, but from their character, vision, competency, and care for those they lead. From a biblical perspective, the only legitimate form of leadership is servant leadership. Ken Blanchard describes two parts to servant leadership - The first is: Values, Vision, Direction - what's important to us and where are we headed because of this? The second is: how do you turn the pyramid upside down, how do you serve others? That's how Jesus led, and how He wants us to lead. This view doesn't eliminate hierarchy per se, but changes the nature of what it means to be a leader.

A leader then is first of all a servant, one who cares about others and helping to draw out the best from them. A leader believes in others, encourages them, and helps people come together to get something good done. The vision may come from the leader, or it might arise from those they serve, but they will cast that vision and clarify the goal such that it inspires others to action. For an effective leader, earning trust and being authentic are critical factors. Leadership = influence by serving.  It's inherrently relational.

Friends, if you influence others, if others look to you, if you want to bring out the best in others, you are a leader. The key questions (as they seem to me) are: What kind of leader are you going to be? Will you be a servant leader? How will you lead others to do great things? In what direction are you leading them? How effective are you? What do you need to do (or to be) to be more effective?

Why do we need leaders? I really like Mac Lake's comments on this at his blog today:
"Leaders make things happen.  Leaders change things.  Leaders question “what is” and dream of “what could be”.  Leaders learn from the past but lean toward the future.  Leaders are bent toward seeing possibilities and potential.  Leaders stir discontent, make people think and build teams that birth new realities.   Leaders are criticized but don’t give up.  Leaders push through obstacles, persist through discouragement and pay the price for the cause.  Leaders understand the journey is just as important as the destination.  Leaders take people where they’ve never been before."

So, does servant leadership sound like something that is worthwhile, or am I still missing something? If the former, I want to help people understand what it means to be a 'leader', not throw away the term; if the latter, I have much to learn. Or are objections to the term 'leader' due to rejection of authoritarian styles, or is it more than that - is it from a postmodern view that views any kind of hierarchy as inherrently dangerous?

One Thing I Know

This Sunday Pastor Chuck shared on the story in John 9 about the man born blind who was healed by Jesus. He was grilled by the so-called religious leaders about how this couldn't be a miracle, on how Jesus was wrong to heal on the Sabbath, or that Jesus was a sinner. In the end, how did the man respond? Verse 25 tells us...

"I don't know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"

It's a simple story. Faith. Jesus. Response that leads to action. Healing. Worship.

I have a pretty small story to share this morning along these lines. Last night I was reading "The Air I Breathe: Worship as a Way of Life" by Louis Giglio. It talked about the proper response to understanding who God is and what He has done for us - giving our whole life to Him as an act of worship. Not singing, not saying you'll do something, but acting as if the phrase "You're my Lord and I love You!" were really true. I made a decision and a small but deliberate act of obedience, and just spent some time in prayer and praise. Then off to bed. Just before turning in, I felt led to pray for healing for my shoulder which has been bothering me for two weeks. Advil, heating pad, cremes, nothing was helping. I think it's a big knot in my muscle. Anyway, simple prayer for that, knowing God can easily heal that if He wishes, and loving Him whether He chooses to or not.

This morning, I get up, stretch, here something like a crinkling/uncrinkling sound in that area. Hmmm, that's odd. I move it around. Pain is gone from that spot. Other pains in my body still there :)

I'll leave it to you to explain away or praise God with me, but I'm going to respond with worship, a public 'Thank you Lord!', and this comment: "Who God fully is or how He works, I don't know, but this I know - last night and the past two weeks I was in a ton of pain. I prayed, I obeyed when He told me to do something, and this morning I am not hurting."  The timing is interesting - today I plan to watch as much as I can of a conference called "TheNines" which is several dozen amazing people sharing for nine minutes each whatever is on their heart that they wish they could tell pastors and church leaders across the country. It will be a major blessing to those with faith that God moves and he wants to work in and through you! If interested, you can watch too -- it's at http://thenines.leadnet.org/

Review - Love and Respect

"Love and Respect" is a new book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs - one with a simple and practical message for those looking to strengthen their marriage.

"A wife has one driving need - to feel loved. What that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need - to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn't met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically." [back cover]

I just finished reading a review copy provided by Thomas Nelson, and found the book to be both challenging and helpful. Challenging in that my model for how I am to love my wife is how Jesus loves the church, helpful in that it describes the 'Crazy Cycle' of conflict that so easily arises and how to break that cycle. Too often we think or act along the lines of "I'll love my wife when..." or "I'll love her as long as... or if..." On the flip side is often found "He's not treating me right, how can I possibly respect him?" or "Well I'll respect him once he starts...". These are examples of conditional love and conditional respect.

The Bible calls Christians to something more in Ephesians 5:33, which is the central verse of the book: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Eggerichs explains what this looks like. Unconditional love and unconditional respect mean you don’t wait for the other person to ‘get it right’ first. You just do it. Don’t look for your reward from him, from her. God will reward your faithfulness – and that’s what it is, really – obedience to God’s Word. The only way we can love or respect unconditionally is by not basing it on the other person’s response, but doing it as an outpouring of love to God, especially when they don’t deserve it. The book may not be for everyone; readers who don't share this world view will likely view the book as a bit archaic, simplistic. Those who believe it 'in their heads' but don't know how to put it into practice will however find the book encouraging.

Love & Respect is available at Amazon and other book retailers; it's produced by Focus on the Family. If you find yourself 'stuck in the Crazy Cycle and want to understand some practical biblical principles to get out of this cycle, check it out.

Making school, family and ministry work

After recently posting about my studies at Rockbridge Seminary on my blog and over at the Swerve blog at lifechurch.tv, I got an excellent question from Jonathan H - "How have you handled scheduling time around family, work, and ministry?" It's so important to think about that when considering any kind of back-to-school situation, so I thought I would share how that's been working for me so far.

Obviously, before going back to school I wasn't sitting around with an excess of free time, looking around for something to fill it. Instead, I was sensing in my heart that there was so much more God wanted to teach me, and in particular wanted my life to be less about me and more about others. I was involved in a lot of little things, all seemingly disconnected, without having much of an impact in any one area. So I needed to get a better handle on why I am here, get training on how to be a better leader, and get a deeper understanding of God's mission in this world. Together, those pointed me to considering seminary. Practically speaking, my job, marriage, four young kids, and a desire to stay active in the church and community where I'm located but some extreme restrictions on what that education would have to look like. I was so glad to find out about Rockbridge right at that point, as it was everything I was looking for. (Others with different needs or priorities may well find other choices more suited for them; I'm not trying to over emphasize one school :)

The program there is really meant to integrate closely with your existing life and schedule. Here's basically how things have played out for me, and how I've made things work...

• I'm a night owl. Instead of goofing off and watching TV from 11pm to 2am while the family is asleep, I now "go to class" without taking away from family time.
• I was already a heavy reader. Now instead of picking up random books that strike my fancy I have a well thought out reading and learning plan and get to discuss and internalize what I read.
• I love to discuss things, both theory and practice, so the chance to have deep interaction with other students online via forums was something I loved. It's so enjoyable for me it's just not a burden.
• At lunch time I'll now often stay in and heat up a frozen healthy choice meal and work on my written assignments / papers.
• Each class requires time with a mentor. Usually that's with my pastor or other ministry leader, and the class provides focus and a number of interesting things to discuss. Again, it's not taking more time, it's providing focus. My pastor has been hugely supportive of this, which is very important.
• A key thing I happen to like about Rockbridge's Master of Ministry Leadership Program is it's practical emphasis on ministry. There are a number of projects you need to do for the course, and they highly encourage when possible to do things that are actual value in your church or ministry. This is a huge time-saver (avoiding doing double the work) and applies what I'm learning to what I'm doing - win-win!
• I have had to push myself to learn better time management skills. I've found some ideas in Getting Things Done, Michael Hyatt's blog, and an app called Toodledo to be extremely helpful. This has really helped me to stop dropping the ball in important but not urgent areas of life and ministry.
• I've dropped out of a few activities that I didn't need to be doing. Not much, but a few. Getting to play the "I'm enrolled in an online Master's program and need to pull back a bit" can be nice.
• To some degree I can adjust the overall pace and how much I'm spending per year by whether I take classes back-to-back or with a break in between. I'm mostly plowing ahead, but other classmates are taking advantage of that flexibility.
• The kids think it's kind of cool that dad at his age is going back to school and has to do homework. Sometimes on Saturday morning we let mom go and play tennis, and all hang out on the coach and read our school books. It's fun to answer questions like "what are you learning?" with something like "Right now I'm learning how to talk about problems when we feel hurt rather than ignore them. Do you ever feel better by talking through problems you're facing?"  When an adults asks that question they get a much more boring "We're doing a TKI assessment for conflict resolution styles."
• Work has been a challenge at times. I'm fortunate to be at a place that is very flexible. I've not been able to put in as long hours as last year, but I'm more focused on getting the most important things done and keeping clients happy. For better or worse the economic downturn has given us a few less projects. While I hope that turns around soon, I'm making the best of that situation right now.

In a nutshell, it's taken a huge increase in focus and paying close attention to not let school interfere with work or family, and making sure it integrates with ministry rather than competes with it. How about you readers who are going back to school? How are you making it work?

Some insights on small groups

Two posts this weekend really caught my eye, each on an important aspect of small group ministry - how we learn, and how we care for those who help us learn.

1) Dave Treat commenting on the book "Sticky Church" by Larry Osborne

A quote from the chapter "Velcroed for Growth" - "Most spiritual growth doesn’t come as a result of a training program or a set curriculum. It comes as a result of life putting us in what I like to call a need-to-know or need-to grow situation." Dave adds "I grew up under the linear model and recognize the defining features: learn it all (in order); store it in your head; apply it later. We argued over what “it all” means, and in what order. Long-term storage is especially tough when the knowledge is academic and not linked to real-world situations. Application may be hardest of all..."

"The ultimate goal of a sermon-based small group is simply to velcro people to the two things they will need most when faced with a need-to-know or need-to-grow situation: the Bible and other Christians."

2) Mac Lake of Seacoast with 'Three Movements in Small Group Coaching'

He points out three growing approaches that he disagrees with while finding good points they make and common principles to learn from. 'Hired Gun' approach hires part time staff to oversee about 30 small group leaders; 'Remove the Middle Man' approach has one staff member firing the coaches and handling 50-70 groups directly; 'Call Me if you need me' approach is purely reactive way to oversee 20-30 groups. As he looks at why many are abandoning the coaching model he finds three essential lessons for any small group coaching structure.

   1. Provide and maintain a span of care that is reasonable and realistic for your coaches

   2. Make the role less about resourcing and more about relationship

   3. Raise the level of significance of the role by emphasizing spiritual care of leaders

Note to self - I need to write another post soon on what I've learned from Steve Gladen which has addresses several of the key points from both perspectives. 

Thinking about Seminary - Grow Where You are Planted

Graduate school of any kind is a huge investment and usually means uprooting your life and putting it on hold for a few years. That's also the case for seminary... usually. Rockbridge Seminary is a 100% online seminary offering M.Div. and Master of Ministry Leadership degrees, allowing students to continue their lives and ministry as normal while studying towards a seminary degree. As they like to say "Grow Where You Are Planted."

Rockbridge has just made it extremely easy to get started - enroll now for the term Sept 1 - Oct 26 and they will waive tuition for your first course. Rockbridge has a unique approach that is extremely practical while providing a solid biblical foundation. In addition to coursework there is an emphasis on doing projects right in your church/ministry setting to display proficiency in a series of ministry competencies. I've been studying at Rockbridge for about a year now, half-way through the Master of Ministry Leadership program, and I can't recommend it strongly enough! The classes are excellent, highly interactive, and I can do all the work on my own schedule. It's a serious investment, in time and resources, but for those wanting to build a firm foundation for effective ministry, it's a great investment.

For more information on admissions see:  http://www.rockbridgeseminary.org/admissions

Applicants to either the Master of Ministry Leadership degree program or the Master of Divinity degree program must be at least 22 years of age and must be actively serving in a local church ministry role (either as a lay ministry volunteer or as a paid staff member). A bachelor’s degree from an accredited college or university and a church endorsement are required for admission to these programs.

Finish What You Start

I'm definitely not one to rush into things, and have been known on occasion to over-analyze things instead of taking action. This week I got the hint with some help from my Pastor's sermon and a blogger.

In last week's sermon (7/26), Chuck Grant shared on "How to Finish What We Start". Rather than just scribble on my bulletin I took notes on my iPhone and emailed myself, promising to blog on this before the week is up. It's Friday, so I made it :)

How to Finish What We Start
1. Stop making excuses (Prov 22:13)
2. Get started immediately (Rom 12:8)
3. Focus on the gain not the pain (Heb 11:26)
4. Depend on God (1 Pet 4:11)

• What do I need to finish?
• What is my next step?

As if to remind me today, Jason Curlee had a blog post on 'Bring Change'. Jason shared:

"Often times we make little or no progress because the task ahead is too great. When it comes to turning around an organization, whether a church or a ministry department, it can be turned around by making little changes day after day and week after week. When you know change is needed there is no point in delaying. What you can begin to do to see massive change over the long haul is to initiate smaller micro changes that will add up over time." Since change doesn't happen overnight, don't act like it did, and basically... get started! Do something now, and continue to do something each week." His formula for this is:


Small Daily/Weekly Changes + Consistency = Massive Organizational Change Over Time

Going back to Chuck's comment on 'Stop Making Excuses', I simply couldn't get this video clip from the Bob Newhart show out of my head...

Review - God's Little Princess Devotional Bible

"Every girl is a princess, the daughter of a King... the greatest King who created and rules over everything!" That is great news for a young princess, and is the message conveyed by a new book from Thomas Nelson Publishers, "God's Little Princess Devotional Bible" by Sheila Walsh.

Having a young princess of my own, I jumped at the chance to review this book via the Thomas Nelson Blogger Review Program. Before even opening the book I was impressed by the beautiful front cover and durable construction. It is a 337-pg devotional Bible aimed at young girls of ages 4-8. It contains about 80 segments with a short Bible story followed by application or devotional thoughts. These include Beauty Secrets (inner beauty), Princesses of the Bible, Royal Truths, My Hero (scripture promises) and others. Scripture quotations are from the highly readable International Children's Bible.

It took me longer than I expected to review this because, frankly, I haven't been able to pry it out of my daughters hands! She's been reading it frequently, trying to memorize some verses, and sharing some of the things she finds interesting with her mom and brothers (wow!) While it contains Bible stories, and while youngest readers will enjoy having it read to them, what really sets this book apart and makes it unique is that it is designed to be read by the young princess herself. This is clear from the first page, which begins "Dear Princess, you hold in your hands stories from the most wonderful book in the world. Within these pages you will discover amazing things you need to know about your Father God and how much he loves you." The girl isn't treated like she is a princess from a fairy tale; she learns that she IS a princess because her Father is the King. Sheila shares how sometimes she didn't feel like a princess growing up, didn't feel pretty, didn't always feel loved, and wants you to know how much God loves you. When my daughter read this intro for herself, she couldn't wait to dive in. Reading comes a bit slowly for her and she is a couple of years older than the target age for the book, but as a girl wanting to live out her faith and know God better, it's just perfect!

"God's Little Princess Devotional Bible" is available at Amazon and other retailers. I highly recommend it for young princesses.